Saturday, May 21, 2011

well well well...I'm doing an update!

Ok I simply can't go back and cover the past several weeks / months... but I'll start somewhere.

We have been doing great! The boys now well into their individual looks...Zunduka's baldness is covered in a super short do...Chazano may forever sport the dreads...he looks so awesome in them ;)

Call me crazy but I am so convinced he came out of his shell the day I did his hair in locs....

no joke.

So let's see.

Chazano is doing fantastic. And Duka is too. Duka is admittedly our hardest child to connect to. He's quiet (which I was as a child) but not really that pleasant. We are becoming more and more aware that it's JUST HIM. It's not really grouchiness though he has his fair share. He just is serious and often sports grouchy expressions. The contrast (not comparison...simply a very stark visible contrast) between the twins is really...extreme. Honestly...if I did not know FOR SURE they were twins...I'd never ever know they are biologically related! Personality, looks, (eyes, smile, bone structure..you name it...) is just not similar. So it's a daily project for both of us to connect with Duka. We'll get there :)

Chazano has become a full blown chatterbox. The first few weeks we knew it was fragile...so we never ever said "ok enough" thankfully now we can ;) He talks NON STOP and in silly little stories dragged out to the max :) Here's an example:

"Hey mom...guess what? (no pause). I was walking up the stairs...and guess what....duka was walking up the stairs...and.guess what...I was faster...but duka was faster...and then i was slower...and guess what....duka was still faster even when i was slower and guess what....duka winned me (yes we need to work on the english still ;) ...and then i was running and running and running and so duka winned and i falled down...and i said ... ouch".

:) Super cute. Yes the first 100 times we smiled. But these stories come ever 5-7 minutes. All. Day. Long ;)

We are very excited about the true meaning behind the stories. Who he's becoming and how he's feeling safe and loved enough to talk...even if it is all day long ;)

Dean and I chuckle to ourselves because duka is a total worker. Can work all day if you let him (picking weeds etc) but chazano...!?!? ummm.. no. He's the entertainer. He's lazy. :) So yesterday I asked what they are all going to do when they grow up.. We got all sorts of answers but Chazano...? well no. :) I said "maybe you can build fences with daddy?" he said "oh no that is much to hot, I won't like that". I suggested being a policeman...a pilot, a boat captain...you name it I suggested it. They all were responded with "much too hard" or "too sweaty" or "too much work" ... my boy we'll conquer this ;)

Yesterday on a gorgeous friday afternoon and a rare moment when mama stopped working and sat outside with the kids in the sun....chazano started talking. All about AFrica.

About how he remembers "black mama" (grandmothers sister) carrying him and duka miles and miles to Aunty Tanis' house in a sling. One would have to walk and one could be carried at a time. The whole thing was detailed out...going in the little boat across the river, hoping they would not see crocodiles...to walking the rest of the way.

Then he went on about other parts of africa. I asked him what his house looked like .. he said "pointy at the top. Round and made of yellow grass". (they have not seen photos). When asked what he ate he screwed up his face and said "yucky things like shema (shuddered), green grass (leaves) and sometimes meat"

He told me a story about them preparing chicken and an eagle (bird i assume) came and ate all their chicken so they caught the bird and killed it and cooked it over the fire but he was scared so black mama let him eat fish instead but duka ate the yucky bad eagle :)

Then he talked about what they would do everyday...with their friend Wheezy (??) he described him as a black boy about vance's age (a 12 y o boy from church here).

He told about going to Aunty Tanis house and sleeping on a mat on the floor with no pillows or blankets (told with very funny drama) and how SHE had pillows and blankets :)

He told about seeing me for the first time come in on the airplane and how he knew what i lookedl ike b/c Tanis had shown him pictures. And he would ask about me and the family and learned their names.

He told me about when I left and how he thought I was not coming back and he would ask eveyr day but Tanis would say "not today".

He told me about being a bad boy in school (little preschool tanis put them in) and Aunty tanis said that was very very very bad and don't you ever do that again (with his finger wagging in my face ) :)

He told me about coming home on the plane with me and I asked him if he remembered crying on the first plane when he got his food (remember there was no english back then ) he said "yes my belly hurt very badly so i didn't want the food but you didn't know that" :(

He told me about Aunty tanis' "motorcycle except it didnt' have 2 wheels it had 2 side by side in the front and 2 side by side in the back..." I told him it was a 4-wheeler and he thought that was pretty cool ;)

He told me about sleeping on the big plane ride home that mama didn't sleep on...I said do you remember daddy and all the kids meeting us at the airport? He said "oh yes..you were happy but i was very very super scared because I didn't know them but you did so you were happy " :)

Interesting note Duka said he remembers nothing...I couldnt' get any stories out of him. He kept saying "no I don't know any of that"...

I asked Zano what aunty Tanis called him b/c he said she wagged her finger and said "chazano that was very bad..." and I asked if she said Chazano he said "no...she said meleki..."

This was all amazing to us. first of all he's translating it all in his mind and memory b/c there was no english then.

secondly...it was a sign of trust to us. That he felt comfortable to go back in his mind to Africa and remember. I asked him where he will live when he's abig boy...he said "oh...in america with you and daddy b/c you are my family".

And I walked away with a giant lump in my throat.

It has not been a short year for our family. It's been a lot of work. A lot of sacrifice. By all of us. A lot of stretching our faith to the max.

But...God has shown Himself time and time again and I know that the heart of my God smiled as He heard this conversation between a once-orphan boy...and his "white mama" (as he says).

Though the world sees and soon forgets....

2 comments:

  1. Janice... thank you so much for sharing that... my eyes are full with tears but they are happy tears! Such a big step forward for all of you... I will be praying that Duka will come to the place where he will feel safe, loved and open enough to share and remember with you as well. GOD is able! Keep doing what you're doing... your reward for your hard labour and love will come. <3 x0x

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  2. Aw Janice. I LOVE this. So sweet. So trusting. Darling little Chazano, has been through so much in life already. I think my favorite part was when he was describing Tanis' "motorcycle"... hilarious! Thanks for sharing... beautiful mama! Hugs.

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