We met Daddy and 2 at the suburban and stopped at a Christmas tree sale to see 100% of proceeds went the local Firefirghters (yah we're all about supporting a charity!). So there we got our tree. I have to say...some nervousness since the last 4 years I've managed to KILL a real christmas tree...long before Christmas...but Dean assures me he'll keep this one alive!
So there you have it...we came home and while I was unbuckling Azahria and Azlan in their 5 point harness carseats...apparantly Zunduka pressed the button from the back row to flip the middle seat that I was leaning over...up. There are big rules about this...actually just one...do NOT push that button til the entire middle row is empty. It flips up hard and fast. And it's always Zion's job. I've just never showed the twins yet but they still always hear me say "wait til the middle row is empty". Well this hit me like a bomb. Seriously...I yelped and while seeing in black and white, hobbled inside and slouched in the office in heart wrenching sobs. My earring was on the driving, my glasses were jammed into the side of my head.... but you know...I'm real enough to know that if I ever cry because of pain...it's really nothing to do with the pain. It was a good excuse to cry. I knew it. So did Dean. Neither of us said anything. He sweetly came in and held me and told me how sorry he was. I stumbled upstairs curling into a fetal position on our couch in our bedroom. I knew I had deeper pain that needed to be dealt with. Feelings of pressure and being overwhelmed, in a few areas. Dean's construction business hanging on by a thread (thank you God for our other business that pays all our household bills and expenses every month)...and the construction business debts that if we hadn't lost that HUGE job in the early fall...would have been 100% cleared before going into winter :(. Ahhh. It was a good cry. A cry that reminded me of hunching in a Zambian hotel in the bathroom with a pillow or towel (forget) shoved into my mouth to muffle the sounds...after losing our precious baby. It was healing. Dean came up and when I told him he said "I knew the cry was much deeper, you don't cry over pain". My ear was beat red and my glasses still hurt behind my ear...it did hurt...but not enough for me to cry over. I came downstairs to see a nervous Zunduka saying he was sorry. ;)
We made lunch for the kids...yah...I'm not good at this Sunday lunch thing. Member those days when every Sunday you came home from church to a turkey dinner or roast on the table...? I can pull it off any night of the week but Sunday?? It's not my thing. It needs to become my thing b/c I find myself feeling dread thinking of what to make even though our church is at 9am and we are home by 11. For the first time in 7 months ... I took a nap. Yes...you read that right. I do not nap. And yes...I'm pregnant with our 7th child. That's a true testament to the nutrition I supplement with that has transformed my energy level since February. I napped I think...b/c I had exhausted myself with this heartwrenching sob. Once I peaked open my eyes, not quite asleep, I saw a sweet Azahria Peace sitting beside me quietly reading books. Have I mentioned that I love my family?
When I woke, Dean was standing beside me saying "we have a surprise for you, the kids are all waiting..." so I went downstairs to see the tree was up and all lit and the kids were BEAMING! So we put all the ornaments up. Yes in a painful style...each child, one at a time...every 3rd one crashing to the ground. ;) Then Dean put up the garland on the stairs. I fed the kids dinner and the kids and I went upstairs to the playroom. We finished putting the ornaments on the kids' tree in the playroom and then went through the playroom with "goodwill" bags. It's tradition you know...we do this before Christmas (and a few times in between) every year! It makes room for new toys and I show them how all the toy bins are full so we can either just stick with what we have....or....we can go through and see what we don't play with anymore and give it to a place that will help other children play with them. They get excited and we filled 2 bags. Where does this stuff come from?? Good question. Most of it seems from their "dollar store" shopping or Tirzah's favorite "grabber game" toys...either way...it's on it's way out of here ;) The play room is spic n span and while Daddy and Zion ran out to Pizza Hut I put the 5 others in bed. Zion came home and hopped in as well. Silence. 8:00pm. A pizza for Dean and I. A fully decorated (minus the outside) house. Sweet.
This was our day. It was pretty wonderful and despite walking into the bathroom to brush the kids' teeth and it smelling like an outhouse (yes I'm pregnant and yes my smelling is multi-magnified...but it stunk) and seeing wet grout on the floor. Ahhh. Thankfully Dean came in and talked straight to Duka and said we are serious about this and there is ZERO reason for him to be missing the potty (especially since they SIT!) and peeing on the floor. It's nasty. I scrub our bathrooms more than 90% of families, I guarantee it. Ugh. Anyway...a good day. A good night. To all.