Last night I ran to my Father. Funny how many times I have to learn this lesson. As soon as life gets too much...I hide. Not much different than Adam, am I? Last night I ran to Him. And my heart was filled. It's as if I can hear Him whisper..."Janice...I've been waiting. I've got a plan. I've had a plan. I've not changed my mind. Glad you came back". Maybe you have to be where I am for that to warm the coldest areas of your heart, but it sure does mine.
"Honest cries...of breaking hearts....
better than a hallelujah sometimes..."
Oh. It so is.
Praising Him when things are great...is great. But how genuine is it? Is your love really tested when you are infatuated...? Any of us married longer than 10 days will tell you ...'no'...
Dean and I watched Extreme Home Makeover Sunday night. I have not seen it in a LONG time. I don't think it was accident that we saw this one. We both cried at least 6 times. It was amazing. A family...the dad an avid football player and coach. The mom an amazing loving woman. Married her highschool sweetheart. Their daughter, lover of horses. Their son, paralyzed from the waist down. The dad...now diagnosed with ALS. Devastating. The football team he coaches are a bunch of boys from broken homes and no dads. They all look to him as dad. It was amazing. Not very often you see the good side of humanity. We would be shocked if they are not people who love Jesus. Still coaching with slurred speech and major limp...the town pulled together and built them a dream home fully wheelchair accessible and paid off all their medical debt. We just sobbed. More than that was the strong tie of the family. This was it. Let me tell you something. There was sincere, genuine love in that family. Things good...? um no. She said people often hug her and say sorry for the huge burden she has to carry and she looked at the camera crying and said "they just don't get it. What a privilege for me to walk this journey with this man!". See that much ? Not really. That's love.
Love is proven and tested in trauma. It just is.
Go to prayfordaisy.com and read a picture perfect family's story of their 6 year old daughter's second battle with cancer. Read how they all say, beyond the shadow of a doubt, how THIS journey ... they wouldn't trade it for anything...because they only THOUGHT they knew Jesus before...now they really know Him.
Last night. I broke.
Today..what a contrast.
School went amazing. Oh the kids didn't 'get' it anymore today.
If you have followed this blog....if you have seen my life...if you've ever examined your own life...you know that the one thing that changes every thing...every horrible circumstance...is you. Your heart. Dry. Tumbleweed. Or a child in front of the fountain lapping every drop. That's the difference.
Today I was quenched.