Saturday, May 1, 2010

Home.

We are home. It feels like home...to all of us. Chazano and Zunduka have not stopped smiling since we arrived. I saw anxiety and tenseness from both of them on our first flight...everything has vanished since we got home. By looking at them...I think they are wondering when they will wake up from a way-too-good-to-be-true dream. Zunduka often has his eye on Daddy and when asked for a hug he comes running and buries his head on Dean's shoulder.

We had a fun day yesterday. The kids played outside a lot...and we had our full welcome home party. The table was decorated with pooh bear (C and Z's hero) deco and balloons at every corner. We had DQ icecream cake and gifts for everyone. Extreme expressions came when they opened their trucks Daddy and the kids had bought them. It was lots of fun. When they saw the toys out in the back yard...it was like icing on the cake.

My day yesterday was like the first day after I have a baby. A rush of emotions with no where to put them. Crying. Laughing. Feeling like I'm going crazy. You know...you've felt it before.

Azahria Peace is in love with Daddy. Mama left her for one whole month I'm not sure she knows what to think yet. She is fully potty trained, this is the first time ever we have had no kids in diapers. She spends time with me but is always asking where Daddy is. I smile b/c I love little girls in love with their daddys. I cry...b/c I hope the damage isn't permanent.

At bedtime everyone was bathed...the boy bath was loud. Crazy even. Yet no words were exchanged. Kids are great like that. No words necessary...I don't know if they've even noticed that C and Z don't speak english! After bath all boys were in cozy jammies and we read a bible story. It was on creation. I asked about the animals God made in the ocean and Zunduka proudly proclaimed "Lions, Elephants, Zebras, Tigers!" Don't think he's from AFrica do you?? :) I told him fishies live in the ocean so he quickly caught on and said "Crocodiles!" :) When I asked them all "who made you?" Z and C looked truly stumped. Zion yelled out "God made me!" and a big smile came across Z's face. I asked if God made him and he smiled. Chazano yelled "YES!". They all gave Mama a hug then daddy came in. Zunduka was just waiting for the chance to hug daddy, I could tell. Daddy bent down and Zunduka came running. He seems hungry for love. God brought him to the right place. Chazano ever the goofy one was diving into bed but stopped long enough for a hug

I spent lots of time with Tirzah tonight. I laid on her bed, read her the story all alone and she listened well. We talked about all she did when I was gone. What she loved, what she was afraid of. She talked about Amy and Char and Kristin. "Char brought crafts and we made cookies!!!" She quickly showed me her princess dress from Ashlyn...I told her it was gorgeous. I asked her to pray. Her prayer "God...thank you so much for bringing Chazano and Zunduka...AND mama home! Thank you for the wonderful party today...the cake...mmmmmm...and all the presents. Amen!" :)

Oh guess what..she has a loose tooth!! I know this seems small but I actually thanked God that He had her tooth wait for Mama to come home. Our first loose tooth...she was estatic. She had no idea but I could see it was crooked. She got teeth late and is losing them late...she's 6.5 years old and many of her peers already have lost and have some new teeth in.

Its 7:10am...and I think I'm hearing signs of life. I've switched us over hard core...its kind of the only way to do it. I put the boys to bed at 7pm b/c I could tell they were falling to sleep. I went to bed at 9:30 even though I was falling at 6:30. Dinner went well...Chazano definitely made faces at apple sauce...they've never had that before. I told him it was yummy apples and he had to eat it all. He did. Slowly. :)

So here we are. Our first wknd all together. The boys seem to be drinking in every new thing.

I was reading this morning in my one year bible...and my reading was for 2 Samuel 22. I was drinking in every word b/c a lot of David's heart cries...were recently my own. I felt God come close and answer...I sometimes felt his distance. My next section of reading was for Psalm 18. Read it. Its word for word the same as 2 Sam. 22! Ok. So I tried to drink it in. I always remember my Dad saying "if God says something once...pay attention. If he says it twice...pay close attention".

But in my distress I cried out to the Lord;
yes, I cried to my God for help.
He heard me from his sanctuary;
my cry reached his ears.

Oh he soo did.

To all of you who keep asking if the blog dies now...no it doesn't. It likely won't be daily but I do want to keep it up. It may however turn into a family blog instead of just foccussed on Z and C.

With full hearts and a full house...
Love from Pasco.

3 comments:

  1. Janice - my heart feels so full after reading of your first day at home together... God is SO good! I'm not a mom so I know my understanding of the emotions is very limited, but walking daily with you through your blog definitely helps feel where you're coming from. I love that your four bio children have such soft and welcoming hearts - it says a lot for how they have been raised. The welcome C & Z must have felt from them and Daddy would have erased all immediate fears. You have made a home of love and they're jumping right in. :) Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to reading the continuation of the family blog :) I will still keep you all in my prayers... take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend! :) hugs

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  2. So awesome to hear how your family is blending together and the joy for all your kids. May God continue to bless you all and knit your family together to the point where you don't remember life without all 6 of them.

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  3. So...I am a reader from up in Alaska whom loves your story and have followed along for a while now, and prayed for you all. I am SO HAPPY you are home now, and you have your boys! You are so detailed in your writing, I could picture so much going on. I am really hoping you're able to keep up on this blog, as I have enjoyed reading each entry! As for me, I have 4 young children (2 boys/2 girls, 7, 5, 3 &1). B/G/B/G. They are awesome :) and I love them so much! And like I said, we are up in Alaska...you mentioned you're in Pasco, I gave some family in TriCities...and lived in Seattle for a while. It's not totally random I found your blog; I remember you from she-knows aways back, and your sweet little guy Azlan, and thought about you all one day, did a search, and somehow found this blog (maybe I was meant to pray for you all or something...I have been praying!). My 3rd is close to Azlan's age, I think, and he has just touched my heart...as has this story! So thank you for sharing, and just know I am praying for you all when you cross my mind.
    (and just in case you want a glimpse of me...my blog is hoggardlife.blogspot.com. It's just updated for out of town family...kinda boring, but I love my kids, and it's all about them, so really, it's not that boring :) ) and my e-mail is piccarah@yahoo.com cara

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