Let's see. Today was slow. We woke to a quiet guesthouse...and it was supposed to be that (according to the books) with just some friends of Tanis' coming tonight. We went to the Arcade markets today...where I bought something for my mom (mother's day...?) anyway...I'm a real barterer and the guy KNEW I wanted the item and so he wouldn't budge. Tanis was shocked at how much I paid LOL. I know. But really when you convert it to US dollars, I would pay that much at home for sure. And I bought something for my sister. Tanis bought something for Tirzah and Azahria (as well as her other neices) which was good b/c I was searching for something for them but didn't see anything. We get quite a few looks with an american mom and 2 little Zambian boys :)
I managed to fast until 2 pm. I was quite disappointed to stop but with the intense heat I was quite faint at that point so I found a piece of bread to break the fast. It didn't change my heart nor how many times I stopped and prayed. God--we are needing miracles this week. Hear our cries.
The shower in this guest house is amazing. Just...amazing. Ok...its so western. Its like ... home. The showers in Zambia...are not typically 'amazing'. This guest house is really nice. I love it. Its so homey...large living room, large play room. Our bedroom has a double bed, a twin bed and bunk beds all with an attached bathroom. Our price is $70 usd a night plus we pay for our meals if we eat here. Tanis did purchase break etc and so I assume our breakfasts are free.
This afternoon Chrissy needed to meet up with us, so Tanis went to meet him down the road a bit and he has the document placed into the hand of another 'officer' and she is supposed to arrive at 7;50am tomorrow morning and we are going to try to arrive at 8:00. Please pray this goes beyond smooth. I dream of walking out of an office looking heaven-ward thanking God for a miracle.
Late this afternoon near dinnertime, Tanis' friends arrived. They have 3 kids who the boys love so its been funny seeing their hyper side. They are so crazy right now Chazano just came over to me and gave me 'high five' ten times in a row then ran off. :) cute.
Chazano did have some attitude tonight...he hit Zunduka and then went all stiff when I came to him. I told him to say I'm sorry and he gave this horrible expression, shrugged and ran off. Uh oh. I came back and held him and said that was not ok. He needed to stop being grouchy and go give a nice, loud, (audible) apology to his brother. He pushed me away. I took him to the bedroom and talked to him. I know he understands (Tanis says so anyway) so I just reinforced the same point ... that the attitude is not acceptable. Its funny b/c Zunduka (who is the first-born) is very very much so the peace maker. Like Zion. Zunduka comes up to him and in their Luvale language tells his brother to smile and say I'm sorry it was so funny to watch! I could definitely tell what Zunduka was saying. :) It will be such a relief to finally get home and become a family where they can see what is expected of them and how we treat each other etc...but right now...I'm reminded of my friend Amanda who recently adopted her little girl from Ethiopia...and how over there she said something about "we'll deal with that later". Yup. We will.
So a recap of what we need to accomplish in whirlwind time this wk:
A) get the approval from the Lusaka Social Welfare head Mrs Munga
B) get new birth certificates for each child in their new names listing Dean and I as the parents and adoption decrees (issued at the same time)
C) get Zambian passports done in their new names and processed ASAP
D) go to the Doctor that works with the US Embassy for a full physical and get those reports ASAP
E)Call the US Embassy here in Lusaka and book an appointment for our I600. Must have medical reports and Zambian Passports in hand for this appointment. Am told that the document could be approved on the spot.
F)Book appointment at US Embassy for US Visas...get visas
G) call my travel agent and FLY HOME!!
Now...you see the need for miracles this week. One thing I know for sure...is God can do it. He gave me the song and hope "though the world sees and soon forgets...we will NOT forget who You are and what You've done for us..." so in the intense emotion and anxiety of this week...I know, for sure, He can move people and processes so fast it does make their head spin. We are asking you to pray ... pray... and pray...shake the floorboards of Heaven with your prayers. God does hear. He does care. He does answer prayer.
Continue to pray for our family...separated by half a planet, 9 hours time zone and just too far to reach out and touch... every night I cry thinking I cannot do this for one more day. So many of you have sent me notes saying I'm one of the strongest people you know...I appreciate your kind words but I know those of you that really know me .. .you know this is tearing my heart out. Yes I'm doing it. God told me to and so I am. But it is the ultimate trial for me to be apart from my family. I am so thankful for what we have accomplished so far and right now I'm just trying to get everything done so we can be a complete family at home. If you saw me every night...wander into a quiet place where I won't be seen or heard...just to cry. And pour out my heart to God and my husband as much as I can...you may not think I'm the strongest person you know. And that's ok. I daily battle the thoughts of "what am I doing here??" "what was I thinking to leave my family again??" and I know its the right thing but somehow it doesn't alleviate the huge lump in my throat...the longing to feel little sticky hands in mine, to be constantly running taking Azahria to the potty or the dog out or Tirzah and Zion coloring and cutting crafts leaving more mess than you'd ever imagine for such a simple craft. I'll take it. I'll take it and I'll take the noise and the clamour...and everything that comes with it. I love everything about every one of you...please God...bring us home soon. Can I handle another week? Can my heart take it?
Seeing sweet Azlan, little Azahria Peace, my Tirzah girl and precious Zion boy yesterday...it feels like I could choke. My chest gets tight and I feel like I can't breathe and I know in my heart...God IS with me. He has NEVER left me though I've looked 'up to the hills from whence comes my help" so many times this past week going "God where are you? Why do you feel so far away? Can you come closer? Can you move mountains? Can you help us??"... I know He is here. And oh...how he loves us . I listened to that song this wk and the emotion was almost too much. "If grace is an ocean...then we're all sinking...."
Ahhh. this all feels so abstract and not fluent. I hope you've been able to follow my wandering mind...and if not...further reason for you to pray for me today. As you all enjoy a lovely Sunday early afternoon, our Sunday is behind us and we are going to bed soon. To finish my earlier thought...the guest house is suddenly overflowing with people. Some not so happy...as they are sleeping on the futon in the living room. :)
Monday you are almost here. I hope we look back and call it "Miracle Monday".
Love tonight from an aching heart in Zambia.