Friday - Day 20.
Today we decided to all go together this morning, instead of me staying home with the kids. So Tanis dropped Z, C and I off at Manda Hill. We had a very nice morning. We went to Mr. Price where I actually bought a full outfit for myself. I completely loved it and it was unique.
Then we went to the candy store where I bought the boys each a very silly candy which they were SO excited about. They don't realize just how much yet...because they haven't been in our home. I'm NOT a candy mama...chocolate...no problem. No candy. See...that was growing up having my dad for a dad :) He always reminded us of the probable dental bills when we eyed up candy...and I remember how many hours I did end up sitting in the dentist chair as a child :)
We walked to a few stores. One was very cool...I loved a shirt til I saw it was 400,000 kwacha...which is like $90usd. And that's just plain rediculous.
We went to our fave restaurant where the boys played and I bought a cappuccino. It was quite wonderful. We were to meet Tanis at 1pm. I ordered the boys lunch and was shocked when Tanis came in....kind of in a flurry ... apologizing for being late! she said it was 1:20...I had no idea! We had spent about 3 hours there alone. It was such a nice time. The boys played and were very silly. It was quite bonding...just being alone with them.
So we quickly got loaded up and headed to the doc. Wouldn't have rushed had we known what lay ahead! My appt was at 2pm...we get there. Empty clinic. I say I have an appt and I get blank stares. "today??" ... 'yes today'. "are you sure??" (fabulous.). "yes I'm sure". ... ."ok ... wait here". She comes back with my file and tells me to follow her. Over to the actual waiting room of the hospital. She tells me to wait. The doctor is on lunch. Umm.....really?
Finally a lady comes out and says "come with me". We go. Where she has a note out in front of her saying some day at the end of next week. She said "we have a new appointment for you". I actually did smile. Seriously. No...I tell her I must have this appointment today. I have a US Embassy appt Monday and a flight Wednesday. She assures me that it's easy to switch my flight. .... Smile again. I tell her I really really need this appointment today. She says "we have no record of it". I said....well please call the nurse on my file from yesterday b/c he booked it. ahhhh. She goes out and talks to the doctor on her phone...b/c he's....still on lunch. :) He has 10 patients in the waiting room so he says "sure I'll see her ... after all 10 of my patients". Having no choice, I say "great! thanks.". 2pm. At 5pm...with no end in sight I got up and asked if I was next on the list. Apparently I wasn't but she squeezed me in ... and wouldn't you know it... patients in the waiting room were mad at me!!! I was there all afternoon. ahhhh.
We go in and the slowest writing doctor on the planet greets us. Yes thats significant b/c the Embassy gives him several pages to fill out... on each child. Finally he examines the kids. He quizzed me about Zunduka. At the end (50 minutes or so in his office) I asked him if he thinks the boys are healthy. He said "they are ok but they are severely malnourished". I told him I know but think about how it will help them going to America to be in a loving family. He smiled and said "yes, losing their mother at 5 mths is very very bad for nutrition" since breastfeeding is IT til you are 2 years old here...simply because with such severe poverty...thats how the baby stays alive. He was concerned about Zunduka though. He asked why he is soooo skinny. I said he's been through a lot of trauma in his life and needs some stability. Honestly...I have no idea but I don't have the best of feelings about his severe low weight. He eats adult size portions and Tanis and I disagree on this a bit....she thinks it takes time to gain weight. I don't . He's been living with her since November...eating like a KING. He has not gained ONE ounce and he's soooo tiny. I gave them a bath tonight and Zunduka...is a skeleton. So we'll check him out thoroughly when we get home. She has treated him for worms several times so she's confident its not that.
Finally out of there at 6:05 he tells me to come by Monday morning to pick up the sealed medical envelope for the Embassy.
We were heading for chinese food with Jacob, Fred and a few others of their family. As a thank you for all their help since I've been in Lusaka--it was our treat. We went back to the same place we went with all the missionaries a week ago. I had not eaten one bite all day...nothing except my cappuccino. I was ... hungry. I kid you not....I looked up and in this very fancy restaurant I saw an animal out of the corner of my eye. It is their dog. Tanis said it was a Jack Russel and honestly I don't care what breed it was...it was in the kitchen of the restaurant!! Immediately after the meal my stomach starting flipping...as I thought about eating at a Chinese restaurant that has a pet dog...in the kitchen. He even followed the cook out to our table...unashamedly. G.R.O.S.S. I even have pictures of him standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
It was about 9 before we got on our way from there. It was a nice time and the boys were WOUND. They were so hyper and giggling at everything.
We came home, they got a quick bath, new jammies and were in bed after praying for Daddy and the kids back home.
This is a pretty general blog post...it was kind of uneventful aside from me begging to indeed have this doctor appointment.
You know...there are so many of you that have written me private messages on Facebook...I wish you all could see. "The gift that keeps on giving". Its been a beautiful thing to see how many prayers have been answered in specific ways...of so many of you...during our journey. It has built your faith and made you stronger in your individual walk with God. He is so good.
I think when I really absorbed and believed that He is good....everything changes. He is good...even when I lose my baby (babies...?) the day I arrive in Africa...a million miles away from the support of my family. He is good...even when I'm stuck in Africa for Azahria Peace's 2nd birthday. He is good....even when the specific prayer of a 2 week journey in Zambia was not answered. He is good...always good. This has not been a journey of submitting to 'well whatever will be...will be". Nothing about "whatever is going to happen is already determined". This has been a journey on my knees. To think that a week before I even came to Zambia (didn't even know I was coming back then)...had good news about our baby on the way via ultrasound...yet God stopped me in my tracks with "hold my heart" by Tenth Avenue North. I knew. Absolutely knew...that was for me. "Can the Maker of the stars...hear the sound of my breaking heart.....if You are everything You say You are...won't you...come close...and hold my heart". I had no idea how that would almost become a lifeline to me in such a dark, lonely time.
To each of you that have taken the time to write me a note...God used you. So many of you were the ones to remind me of the light that never ever left my path. So many of you were used to keep my eyes straight ahead and straight up. So many of you pleaded for me...when I was too weak. So many of you...carried me. When I could not walk . I am...eternally grateful.
He is good. He is always good.
This whole journey has been His plan. Our dream was to adopt a baby...with a cleft lip and palate...before surgeries. Here we are...having adopted two healthy 5.5 year old boys. It wasn't our plan. It was His. And He is always good.
Thank you all for walking every step with us. We are not done yet. Please continue praying--especially for Monday's visa appointment.
5 more days.
Tirzah, Zion, Azlan and Azahria Peace...we talk about you every day. I see things through your eyes. Everything orange I smile for Azlan. Every baby on a child's back...I think of Tirzah and how big your eyes would be. Every baby I see...I think of Zahria Peace. Every time the boys squeel at a big truck....I think of my Zion boy..I know you'd love it. You'd love just being with me. And I...you.
Dean--I'm almost out of words. 5 more days.