Sunday, April 18, 2010

Day 15 - ps

Added later...10:45pm Sunday night.

Tonight I got to chat with my family on skype video. I never know when it is going to hit. It didn't take long for me to be completely overwhelmed with emotion. ahhhh. God you know what you are doing. I'm so glad. Sweet Tirzah--showing me the calendar she has done up counting the days for Mama and her 2 new brothers to come home. She wanted to wear her new dress and shoes to church's actually an outfit I bought in Gap a while ago with a semi matching outfit for Azahria. Tirzah asked to wear it this morning so they matched. I'm sure they looked beautiful. She told me she prays every single night that God would bring us home very very soon. You are beautiful. Completely beautiful. You always have been. But now...inside you are beautiful. Your sweet sincere heart and I'm humbled...that God has me a part of your life. I. Love. You. My girl. Always my princess.

Zion was so silly.I think he has gotten 'sillier' since I left ;) He's adorable. Wearing his favorite truck shirt Mama bought him before I left. He had a giant whistle that he was doing random things with. :) I told him Zunduka and Chazano are sooo excited to sleep in their space ship room ... he smiled. He didn't stay still long enough to have a very long conversation with. I love you Zion-boy. You are beautiful and mama misses you SOOOOOO much.

Azlan came on and something about that boy with one ear tilted 40 degrees back and pointed, a top lip that only half moves to form the words he so desperately tries to pronounce...his slow blinks as he talks because he is so conscious to talk his very best....and the reminder of all he has been through in his 3 years...turns my heart to an instant liquid state. He told me about his bad dream last night how there were big dinosaurs and how 2 of them "were biking me" :) Biting. He then either said he 'died' or 'cried' but I addressed both. we talked about their favorite verse...Joshua 1:9. "Be strong and brave because God is with you". What a beautiful boy.

Then Azahria Peace. Instant tears. Why...she's our baby. I have this strange fear that because they are the youngest her and Azlan may actually forget me. Oh...don't reason it out. Are you a mom? Then you may understand. She is beautiful. She gives this shy, head tilted to the side smile and I hear her saying "hi mommy". ahhhh.

I'm waiting. Waiting on you God.

I love you all. My heart is full and yet feeling the void of being separated from the most special people in the world to me...all at the same time. You never realize how you can feel so many things at once until you have children. I'm going to bed with each of your names going up to Heaven with special requests. I am dreaming of the moment we see you for the first time as we get of the plane. I am so blessed. Thank you..thank you Father.

Dean--I love you More.

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