Recently we were eating dinner around our large table and Tirzah who is just 5yrs old said "mama--we have extra chairs...we need more kids!" She then went on to say that she saw someone at her sunday school with a black boy and she thinks we should have one too. Hmmm have I mentioned that to her..maybe...I'm unsure...
She got dressed up to go play outside a few days ago and said "bye mama..I'm going to Africa".
Ok so auntie Tanis lives in Africa and she was here for Christmas...
I decided to look into some agencies and have received several packets of info over the last few mths.
2 weeks ago on facebook I ran across a youtube video of a relief team travelling through Africa and one of the sites they happened upon literally tore my heart out. Children abandoned by all family...laying in the dirt...unable to lift their heads for pure starvation...until a young girl came through the bush...and carried them and bathed them and wrapped them up and fed them...and she was only 8yrs old. I stopped and thought "Ok Janice...you are really thinking you don't know if you can provide financially with the involved fees...are you serious...? Look what this child is doing. She doesn't question in her little heart that this is the right thing to do. To care for her younger siblings til they breathe their last..."
Then a few days ago I made a call to a sister of a friend...who along with her husband has adopted 7 little girls from Liberia, Africa. Her story touched me deeply. This wasn't what I expected her to say. I thought they saved up money and adopted. You know, planned. Prepared. No--it was the most 'by faith' story I think I've ever heard. They agreed to simply listen to see what God was telling them...and to move forward and trust Him to provide the way. And He did.
Something Jenny said that really hit me was she talked about when people perfectly plan to start their family. She said "you know those people that put their career, and their perfect house, perfect car, everything has to be in order to have a family--you know don't you think...you'll never have the perfect time to have a child...it just works out." and I said YES huge yes. She said "Janice its the same way with adoption. You'll never just have $30,000 sitting in the bank with nothing to spend it on...you just do it and it works out, its the same as having a child biologically." and boy that was a different thought. No no I was planning this out. I would have all my ducks in a row THEN I would move forward. That's 'wise' right? I mean thats just good stewardship. ..... So this was a new thought for me. And it came to mind in the days and nights to follow.
I researched a few of the places Jenny recommended to me. One was WACAP based out of Seattle. I was intrigued by this agency and the programs available. They have a "promise children" program where under certain guidelines because of either special needs or age of the child...the local and international fees are waived. I had never heard of such a thing. Was God telling me more...?
I've requested more information on Ethiopia and India. I'm waiting to hear back from WACAP.
The bottom line is I've started this blog with the thought that there is a high chance no one will ever ever see it. It may eventually get deleted by me as time goes on and perhaps we see that no, God was not leading us to adopt. I started it though, to record the thoughts and circumstances from this point on that may show God pointing us in this direction.
Since Azlan was born I have longed to adopt a child with a cleft lip and palate. I thought right aways on our cleft journey that God was gifting me for something more. I loved Azlan and loved all the experience taught me about love. I've never doubted the fact that if we adopted down the road it would be a cleft child for me to share that same deep love with. I'm surprised to see in every avenue I'm looking at...that does not seem likely. Every country that fits us (our age, how large our family is etc) has a very low percentage of orphan children with clefts. ... that make me take a second thought. Could my ideas be different than God's...? Wouldn't be the first time now would it.
We are praying and waiting on God to show us...very clearly what He wants us to do. Do we move forward? Do we stop and wait? We are working towards a lot of things in our life...this doesn't seem like the exact timing we had envisioned...