Friday, February 27, 2009

what can I say...What can I do...

ahhhh. I don't even know what to say so I'll keep typing that. This all feels like a dream. A dream I have dreamed so many times since I was a child. I can't believe it may be really happening.

I spoke to Jenny Groothius again and got advice where to start to do my part. She said for Tanis to speak to an attorney in Zambia to know the steps to take and for me to start on a Home Study and apply for a I600A. 

I haven't heard from Tanis for a few days...I've spoken to a few places trying to find someone that will do a homestudy for independent internation adoptions.  So far 2 of the places said no they only work with adoptions through agencies as they've experience some of the corruption of people going to third world countries, like Haiti, and basically buying children illegally.  I did find a place today that I spoke with and he said yes he does independent adoption home studies.  We are looking at about 6 wks of a process and $1000.  He has a few things to check on but other than that we'll get start right aways.

I also found out about the I600A that I have to file with the government so I'll begin on that asap.

Then I got a letter from Tanis tonight. Here is what it says:

OK.  You will have received a  copy of my email to the lawyer....but the address must be it came back.  Sorry....will keep trying. So I hear that I could have the adoption process over in 3 months by living in the country.  Will hope and pray that is true. Love, Tan

this gave me goosebumps.  I don't quite understand all she's saying. We're talking about several different options right being that since she is in Zambia, maybe it would be easier HER adopting the children and we adopt directly from her which may also be an easier process b/c then we are adopting family.  

ahhh so I start with ahhh and I end with ahhh. I don't know what to say or what to think but I know the moment I realize for sure this is all happening is going to be a very emotional moment. aaahhhh.

 James 1:27: 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

ok...this is all so strange

I'm blogging about something that I have no clue where its going...and yet it keeps going somewhere. I have no idea what the end result will be. I am the only one who knows this blog exists...I just write.


Things that made me stop and think this week:

1) When Azlan's speech therapists were here last wk, out of the blue she asks about adoption. She said she thought she recalled me mentioning that I drempt of adopting a cleft baby. She said she sees another child with a cleft here in TriCities and was telling that mom of Me and Azlan...and when she told the lady how I wish to adopt a cleft baby that other mom cried and was so touched.  Ok so am I being reled down the cleft road...? 

2) THEN Tanis called last night. We talked and near the end of the conversation I asked about these precious little twin boys that she cared for for a while and thought of adopting. This is now a few years ago and I've not heard anything about them since. She said she still thinks someone needs to adopt them as they are not in a good situation. She then added on "I would even adopt them and if someone in Canada or US would care for them..." and carried on. I stopped. I didn't even hear the rest of the conversation. I completely knew this was God's answer for us. Here I am spending so much time looking into India, Thailand, Ethiopia. I didn't even know you could adopt out of Zambia. I never gave it a millisecond of thought. 
 I brought it up to her with a bit of background as to how we feel led by God to adopt...sooner than later. She was quite excited and said she would research how it could be done!!

ahhhh ok...huh? The whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. Wow. This is such a faith journey and we are just taking it from God. We do know that He is starting this and we will need His help to complete it. 

Its so great to know God is in control .

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

How did this all happen...?

We've been talking about adoption a lot lately.  There have been several instances where I've felt poked by God to consider adopting. We both have a heart for African children and recently went to an Aids Experience put on by World Vision.  Our family now sponsors 4 children from Africa--and while sure that helps some...that doesn't seem enough. What if God is trying to get our attention for more...? 

Recently we were eating dinner around our large table and Tirzah who is just 5yrs old said "mama--we have extra chairs...we need more kids!" She then went on to say that she saw someone at her sunday school with a black boy and she thinks we should have one too.  Hmmm have I mentioned that to her..maybe...I'm unsure...

She got dressed up to go play outside a few days ago and said "bye mama..I'm going to Africa". 
Ok so auntie Tanis lives in Africa and she was here for Christmas...

I decided to look into some agencies and have received several packets of info over the last few mths.  

2 weeks ago on facebook I ran across a youtube video of a relief team travelling through Africa and one of the sites they happened upon literally tore my heart out. Children abandoned by all family...laying in the dirt...unable to lift their heads for pure starvation...until a young girl came through the bush...and carried them and bathed them and wrapped them up and fed them...and she was only 8yrs old. I stopped and thought "Ok are really thinking you don't know if you can provide financially with the involved fees...are you serious...? Look what this child is doing. She doesn't question in her little heart that this is the right thing to do. To care for her younger siblings til they breathe their last..."

Then a few days ago I made a call to a sister of a friend...who along with her husband has adopted 7 little girls from Liberia, Africa. Her story touched me deeply.  This wasn't what I expected her to say.  I thought they saved up money and adopted. You know, planned. Prepared. No--it was the most 'by faith' story I think I've ever heard. They agreed to simply listen to see what God was telling them...and to move forward and trust Him to provide the way. And He did.  

Something Jenny said that really hit me was she talked about when people perfectly plan to start their family. She said "you know those people that put their career, and their perfect house, perfect car, everything has to be in order to have a family--you know don't you'll never have the perfect time to have a just works out." and I said YES huge yes. She said "Janice its the same way with adoption. You'll never just have $30,000 sitting in the bank with nothing to spend it just do it and it works out, its the same as having a child biologically." and boy that was a different thought. No no I was planning this out. I would have all my ducks in a row THEN I would move forward. That's 'wise' right? I mean thats just good stewardship. ..... So this was a new thought for me. And it came to mind in the days and nights to follow.
I researched a few of the places Jenny recommended to me. One was WACAP based out of Seattle.  I was intrigued by this agency and the programs available.   They have a "promise children" program where under certain guidelines because of either special needs or age of the child...the local and international fees are waived.  I had never heard of such a thing. Was God telling me more...?

I've requested more information on Ethiopia and India. I'm waiting to hear back from WACAP.

The bottom line is I've started this blog with the thought that there is a high chance no one will ever ever see it. It may eventually get deleted by me as time goes on and perhaps we see that no, God was not leading us to adopt. I started it though, to record the thoughts and circumstances from this point on that may show God pointing us in this direction.  

Since Azlan was born I have longed to adopt a child with a cleft lip and palate. I thought right aways on our cleft journey that God was gifting me for something more. I loved Azlan and loved all the experience taught me about love.  I've never doubted the fact that if we adopted down the road it would be a cleft child for me to share that same deep love with.  I'm surprised to see in every avenue I'm looking at...that does not seem likely. Every country that fits us (our age, how large our family is etc) has a very low percentage of orphan children with clefts. ... that make me take a second thought. Could my ideas be different than God's...? Wouldn't be the first time now would it.

We are praying and waiting on God to show us...very clearly what He wants us to do.  Do we move forward? Do we stop and wait? We are working towards a lot of things in our life...this doesn't seem like the exact timing we had envisioned...